Last night Beau and I went to go see Inception at The Palms. It was awesome. We got out of the movie at like 3am, and having a little extra cash left over from buying the tickets we decided to see what all the fuss was about with Las Vegas and the ubiquitous gambling theme that all the hotels here have in common. It was late, but here's what I remember happened:

Tyson: Alright, Mr. Slot machine. Let's see what you got.
Mr. Slot Machine: Step right up, suckeroo.
Tyson: Okay, now the money goes here... and press the button...
Mr. Slot: Spin, spin, you lose.
Tyson: Woah, look at all the pictures and numbers there. This is like algebra or something. Ok, I almost won... 6 credits and only lost 4. No big deal. Spin again.

Seven minutes later...

Tyson: Dude... what the heck.
Mr. Slot: heh heh heh heh.
Tyson: No seriously. Where'd all my money go?
Mr. Slot: House= 1, Tyson= you're a giant slub.
Tyson: Ok, that wasn't fun, fair, or fortuitous. At least not for me. And... I want my money back.
Mr. Slot: Go jump in a lake.
Tyson: No. Fine, can I have just some of my money back?
Mr. Slot: I can let you try and win it back...

That sounded like a good idea, but no matter how often or hard you press the spin button, unless you put money in there to begin with it doesn't work. How they expect you to win your money back after they took it all, I don't know. Sounds like a poor business strategy to me. So I've crossed "gambler" off my list of possible career choices. Next one the list: game warden. See how well I do tending giraffes.

IT'S A SHAM