I do not have any fond feelings for dentistry, which is part of the reason I haven’t been for almost three years now. It’s not that I’m against dental hygiene. I just don’t like people poking around the inside of my mouth with sharp objects. Like shots. Shots do not belong in the mouth. The mouth is a very sensitive area; that’s why people make out with their mouths and don’t do other things like rub their ears together to be intimate. (I was watching Surfs Up the other night, and was very disappointed. The movie itself was pretty enjoyable, but the whole time I was watching it I was wondering if the main character penguin and his love interest were going to kiss. Given penguins have a combined mouth/proboscis in the form of a pointy beak, I was very curious as to how they were going to make kissing work. And, SPOILER, they never did! Leaving me still wondering if penguins kiss, and if so, how?)

Anyway, the above comic was taken from a conversation I had with a friend a couple years ago (note to any of my friends- if we have a funny conversation I retain the right to someday remake that conversation into a comic, even if it was the person I was talking to who was telling all the jokes) about the last trip I had to the dentist. Sadly, things don't look so optimistic for my next trip. I noticed a small dark spot on one of my molars and while I don't have a degree in dentistry I'm pretty sure I know what that is.

And it's on the top of my tooth, so dad, flossing would not have prevented the cavity. Dad is always in my grill about two things: flossing and dating. Flossing bites. I hate it. It's time consuming, bloody, and I find stuff I didn't want to know about. Dating is just like it, only more expensive.