Waiting until the day before it's due to start my conference paper.... dumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumb.

I guess the rest of the class is smarter than I because every book on Scott, Austin, or the Romantic period in general is checked out from the library. Hello, creatively citing stuff I found on wikipedia in a roundabout way.

I don't like moochers. I guess that's an external way of saying "I don't like to share". But seriously, if someone else wanted pizza as badly as I did, they would have taken the time and spent the money to get one, rather than just ask "can I have a slice?"

"No."

NIGHTSHIFT STEVEN T-SHIRTS ARE HERE.

COME, PARTAKE OF THE AWESOMENESS.

CLICK HERE.

Rosie wouldn't be allowed in the bathroom while I was using it though. I get stagefright.

Also, if you check out the proportions in the second frame, I either have a huge bidet or a tiny robot.

The condition of the sock has the potential to place it on opposite ends of the comfort spectrum. If it's new, there's little to compare to how good they feel. If they've already been used once (or more) the stiffness and crusty insides makes me want to cut my feet off rather than feel that all day.

Maybe I daydream about what my life will be like when I'm wealthy a little too much, especially given my present prospects of being fabulously wealthy in the future. Eh.

This is probably the worst part about my school not having a spring break- I won't be able to go home and restock on my razors. Bummer, because finding money for those things are not a favorite part of my budget. Whenever I'm forced to buy them myself, I know I should buy the package with more razors in it, even if it is way more expensive than the package with fewer. It's not like I'm going to not need to shave anymore anytime in the foreseeable future. But I always end up buying the smaller package anyway. I guess I don't have very many traditions, so I've got to stick to the ones I've got even if they're not exactly fiscally responsible.

I did learn the hard way not to but the Bic package of like 12 disposable razors for two dollars. Those things made a mess of my face- I honestly can't remember a time when I bleed as much as when I was trying to shave with those things.

I had a job interview today to be an enumerator for the 2010 Census. It would be nice to have another part time job, and this one would be in the afternoon so it wouldn't conflict with my subbing or weekend night buffering. It also pays a lot better than either job, so if I get it I'll be sitting pretty for the 5-10 weeks it should last. Anyway, it was me and 12 other people- all college age- who were there. We filled out a few forms and then took a 28 question test which was supposed to measure our skills in organization, reading, math, clerical, and reasoning. We had thirty minutes to finish.

I didn't find the test particularly taxing.

I was making copies of announcements for my ward the other week in this supply closet the stake has in one of the buildings on campus. In there they've got this large open mailbox cubby where every bishop has a box. In every box there was a small envelope and, curious, I looked at what it was. Each bishop had been given four tickets and a parking pass for conference. I'm looking at some pretty good seat tickets and I think to myself "hey, I'd like to go to conference with some friends". This thought was quickly followed by "how'd you like to go to hell with some friends? oh, and before you get there, how'd you like to feel more guilty and uncomfortable than you ever have before sitting through a general conference you stole tickets to?" So I put the tickets back and made my copies.

I think the idea that a person has an angel and a devil on either shoulder advising them what to do is bogus (which is exactly what Wormwood wants me to think, but whatever). I'm pretty sure people are naturally inclined to do less than upright things, and to spare a devil on every person would just be redundant. Rather, I think there's an angel on one shoulder telling me not to steal conference tickets, and then just another mini Tyson on the other with all sorts of bad ideas.

A week later cousin Doug called me up with two extra tickets to conference, so the whole not taking tickets that didn't belong to me worked out for the best.

I have two jobs right now. During the week, when I don't have class, I substitute teach in my area. I like that job a lot, because there's a lot of flexibility and it's fun to be doing something different every day. This last week I taught kindergarten on Monday, typing for 7th and 8th graders on Wednesday, and then at risk kids in high school on Friday. I've been doing that job for two years now.

Depending on the class, I can either have a ton of free time or none at all. Like when you're teaching younger grades, you have to be on top of the class at all times, keeping everyone busy and helping a bunch of kids simultaneous. And tying shoes. No joke, I have no idea have many shoelaces I've tied in the past two years that haven't been my own, but it's easily in the hundreds. My kids are all having velcro shoes until they're thirty and I for sure don't have to worry about them asking me to tie them for the tenth time that day. And it's always the same students who keep coming back to me with their laces undone. I'm pretty sure it's not my tying job, since my shoes stay laced the whole day. I suspect some kids unlace their shoes, just so the teacher will give them attention again when they ask for it. Whether it's on purpose or not, the second time any kid comes to me to tie their shoe I triple knot that sucker so there's no way it'll come undone while I'm still around. Let their parents try and get that thing off after they get home- I'm done dealing with it.

But like in high school I usually just watch a video or give the assignment and then make sure no one breaks anything while the teacher's away. That gives me a lot of time to read, mess with whatever's in the teacher's desk (that middle school desk last week had a huge ole bag of starburst in it. Oh baby oh baby...) or play on the computer.

This comic is referring to my other job- the weekend custodial job at the student center where I work Friday and Saturday nights from 10pm to 6am. That job I have to be holding the floor buffer for hours on end, and there's really nothing to do other than listen to my iPod and think. After a while I get bored of doing both, so I just kind of stare at the floor for several hours. Later, I felt guilty about willingly being dumb and drew this comic as kind of a compensation.