Thursday, April 28, 2011

Cactii


Sunday, April 17, 2011

iPhone Pictures


Why are there so many different kinds of tomatoes? They all taste equally gross. Except for those avocados, but that's because they're avocados and not tomatoes.


Isn't that a little redundant? Have you ever seen an old person try and use email? The "dummy" is all but implied in the specification it's for "seniors", coming out and calling them one again seems a little overkill for me, branding notwithstanding.


Shut up. I already passed the handicap parking spot (aka "fat person who managed to somehow snag a handicap ticket" spot), I'm not passing this one just because I have a cooler car than a van. Freakin' bossy sign...

Friday, April 15, 2011

HVCC College Catalog

I have to read the college's catalog for one of my classes.

"The Collegiate Academic Support Program (CASP) promotes the academic and personal growth of traditionally underrepresented students by providing holistic programs and activities within an environment that celebrates diversity, inclusiveness, and diversity."

Apparently they don't celebrate diversity in their list items.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

What They're Waiting to See




I don't really see what the appeal is. But without fail, that parking lot observation area always has a few cars in it. I picked my grandparents up at the airport yesterday and drove past a full observation parking lot. And it was hecka cloudy out and raining so there really wasn't even anything to observe. There are a lot of times where I don't have a lot going on and don't really have anything too important to get done. Even still I think I'm too busy to park and watch airplanes land, clear or cloudy skies. Unless the people parking there are just doing so to avoid having to pay to use the short term parking in the airport garage, and if that's the case then I tip my hat to their craftiness.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Braille





True story:

As part of my continuing goal to reach 100% self actualization I've decided to learn how to read and speak Braille. I don't plan on going blind anytime soon, and if I did being able to read Braille wouldn't do me any good because shortly after losing my sight I'd walk right into the middle of a busy intersection. Not because I couldn't see it, but because I was blind.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Paratrooper = 40 tickets

TO SEE THE REST OF THIS COMIC, CLICK HERE 


(Blogspot does weird stuff to the sizes of pictures and I couldn't get this one to look right.)

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Vengence




I didn't buy any books this semester. There were some that were required for my classes, but I wanted to wait until it was absolutely critical and essential to me passing the class before I paid for them. Eleven weeks into the semester now and I'm pretty sure I won't have to by this point. Not having access to any of the information in the class has necessitated a lot of guessing on my part. Lucky for me, I am a phenomenal guesser. Sadly, I don't currently have the GPA to prove it. I totally spaced a midterm. Well, I didn't forget about it, but I thought it was due by 12am and not 12pm.

She wrote me back, essentially telling me to go suck an egg and that I had a zero for the midterm. Laaame. I didn't learn anything in terms of not procrastinating. I still haven't filed my taxes yet, and now that the government is going to shut down forever the IRS won't ever mail be back my rebate. Which is really too bad because I was going to use that money to buy a really cool laser pointer.

Why is there a tapeworm on the counter? Who knows. Chuck-E-Cheese is pretty gross like that...

Friday, April 8, 2011

Perception




There's also the term "undertaker". If you plug that into Google image search it only returns one image, and it's not of anyone who looks like the two characters featured above. Nor myself, for that matter. I don't know what the rest of the funeral directors in my school look like- the first semester is all prep GE type stuff and I can do it all online so I've actually only been to campus once. Next semester I get to get elbows deep in dead people with anatomy and embalming classes, so I'll get to see if there are any distinguishing features of funeral directors.

Also, I may or may not be addicted to Monster energy drinks, Assault flavor. I don't think I've been addicted to anything in the past, so it's difficult to know what signs to look for. But if having an uncontrollable craving for their delicious flavors every evening between 11pm to 1am constitutes and addiction then call me a crackhead. 1am is a terrible time to put 160 mgs of caffeine into your body, and don't I know it. So if anyone has any suggestions for how to break a bad habit bordering on an addiction, I'd love to hear them. And don't say "exercise self control" because obviously that isn't working.

Your Highness

Whose dumb idea was it to not put the right names over the corresponding actors?

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Instincts




Have you ever looked at your mouth palate, either before or after you introduce it a pizza hotter than the surface of Venus? It's funny looking. I wonder if all those ridges and bumps serve any purpose. I wonder if I would talk funny if I got all those ridges ironed out. I wonder why they call that thing an artist keeps his paints on a "palate" and which one came first- the mouth or the paints? I could probably do a little research and find out, but that would take all the magic out of life (and require effort) so I'm content to wonder.

Also, when discussing any painter I'm going to default to the male pronoun because as far as I'm concerned Bob Ross is the only painter there ever was.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Joggers





As the weather continues to improve ("improve" being contingent on if you consider the outside temperature rising preferable to it remaining below the freezing point. The local penguins and snowmen are probably freaking out about the current warming trends) I've noticed a corresponding uptick in joggers. They're for the most part female, and for the all part bad looking joggers as far as form goes. None of them posses any fluidity of motion, which has always struck me as being peculiar as girls are typically the more graceful of the genders. Disagree with me if you want, but if you do you'll be outing yourself as a) a girl who is b) a jogger and c) self conscious about their image while working out.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Conference Sunday

Difficulties encountered while watching Conference, respective to location:



Saturday, April 2, 2011

April Fool's



Friday, April 1, 2011

Safado