I'm a man with simple tastes. I know all too well, however, that convincing a girl who has the kinds of qualities I'm looking for that going out with me is a good idea is nigh unto impossible. Believe you me, I've tried. So although I consider her my soulmate, I don't think Miss Snorgtees and I will ever be an item.

Despite the fact we'd look awesome together in our matching t-shirts!