I was making copies of announcements for my ward the other week in this supply closet the stake has in one of the buildings on campus. In there they've got this large open mailbox cubby where every bishop has a box. In every box there was a small envelope and, curious, I looked at what it was. Each bishop had been given four tickets and a parking pass for conference. I'm looking at some pretty good seat tickets and I think to myself "hey, I'd like to go to conference with some friends". This thought was quickly followed by "how'd you like to go to hell with some friends? oh, and before you get there, how'd you like to feel more guilty and uncomfortable than you ever have before sitting through a general conference you stole tickets to?" So I put the tickets back and made my copies.

I think the idea that a person has an angel and a devil on either shoulder advising them what to do is bogus (which is exactly what Wormwood wants me to think, but whatever). I'm pretty sure people are naturally inclined to do less than upright things, and to spare a devil on every person would just be redundant. Rather, I think there's an angel on one shoulder telling me not to steal conference tickets, and then just another mini Tyson on the other with all sorts of bad ideas.

A week later cousin Doug called me up with two extra tickets to conference, so the whole not taking tickets that didn't belong to me worked out for the best.